No Beast Girls on the Western Front

Page 59

"Ugh... I feel like my whole beast is unclean... If only it would rain right now so I could take a bath..."

Horses are very clean animals, a fact Payne knew, but he felt her wish was somewhat ill-considered:

"If you take a bath when it rains, the trenches will flood, so you have to go down to scoop up the water and get yourself dirty, then you take another bath when it rains... Isn't this a vicious cycle?"

Stephen paused for a few seconds, "Hmm...it seems so?"

Did this guy put all his talent points into stamina and speed? It seems like he's definitely lacking in intelligence...

……

After everyone worked tirelessly in the cold water all morning, the water level finally lived up to expectations... showing no sign of decreasing. The only visible change was that all the debris had been cleared away.

It looks like it will take at least several more days to finish.

During lunch, Stephen was completely unaffected by the stench of the trench sewers. She not only ate a whole bundle of hay, but also ate the carrots left over from Tomato Head's cooking as a dessert.

This is a good horse—strong, with a big appetite, and its appetite is never easily affected—but that doesn't mean she's willing to do this dirty work.

Just as Payne was still searching for evidence to convince himself that he had indeed found a good horse, Stephen quietly crept over, approached him, and put on a pitiful expression, saying:

"Can you really bear to watch a future national champion like Ma Tui soak in this muddy water?~~"

Payne immediately chuckled and ruffled her hair (she had washed her hands before eating), "Such a big talker, huh? National champion?"

“Of course!” Stephen said with a straight face. “That orc expert who recognized my talent said that as long as I’m willing to train and climb the ranks step by step from lower-level races, I’ll become a national champion sooner or later.”

"Haha, really? Why didn't you say so before?"

"Um... I'm afraid you won't believe me if I say too much at once..."

Payne had seen plenty of human soldiers who chatted and boasted when they had nothing to do, but this was the first time he had ever seen a beast girl who could boast so confidently and vividly.

Although he knew it was far too fake, Payne still didn't intend to expose it. "It sounds nice, I like it. I'll continue telling the story when we're working this afternoon."

Stephen's face immediately fell, "Ugh...you really don't appreciate talent..."

Before starting work in the afternoon, Payne specifically went to Alpha behind White Hair's back and asked, "How long have you been working with her? Has she always been like this?"

Even the usually composed hunting dog showed a hint of helplessness when discussing this matter:

"Um... it's like this. I haven't known her for very long, only a month or two, but I've almost memorized all the things she's told me..."

“Hmm, looks like she doesn’t have much left.” Payne nodded. “I’ll ask her a few more questions later, I want to see how she’ll make things up next.”

However, his little plan quickly fell through.

Just as the man and his six beasts were about to throw themselves back into the stinking sewers, a soldier brought exciting news:

"General Steve, who is to award medals to B Company, will arrive tomorrow, so the company commander said we don't need to do any work. Everyone, gather together and get ready to take a shower."

Chapter 91 XCI. Striving for a hot bath

Upon hearing that they would not only no longer have to clean the sewers, but could even take a shower, the entire B Company had just climbed up the trench to celebrate when they saw a white lightning bolt streak past them, splashing them with mud.

Stephen has completely gone mad.

Payne was naturally delighted at the opportunity to clean himself up, but he knew he couldn't be too happy yet; he still needed to make some preparations:

He had Ruby retrieve some good things from the treasure vault.

Since it was a collective award ceremony, and a general was coming, it certainly wasn't as simple as asking the soldiers to figure out how to clean up on their own.

They might use some kind of deadly weapon rarely seen on the front lines.

After the group had enthusiastically marched a short distance towards the rear of the position, they indeed saw the legendary "weapon of mass destruction"—

This thing was converted from a truck and looks like a locomotive, with a chimney at the front and several thick pipes wrapped around the body, full of Fassford-style steampunk feel.

On the carriage were three cylinders much larger than oil drums, two of which were placed vertically and the third, which was obviously thicker, was placed horizontally.

These are the main components of this "bathing truck": the two vertical buckets are for bathing, and the horizontal bucket is a water storage tank.

A slightly overweight middle-aged soldier was sitting on the train carriage smoking, clearly having been waiting for some time.

I don't know what this person's attitude is towards beast girls; the preparations are just to deal with this person in charge of the bathing truck.

Upon seeing B Company approaching from afar, this chubby man casually tossed aside his cigarette, stood up in the carriage, and loudly proclaimed:

"Quiet! This must be your first time using this! So listen to me!"

"Take off your clothes before going in and pile them in the basket."

"The opening of the shower tube is at the top. After you crawl in and close the lid, you can see a shower head and a small light at the top."

"Each person only has one minute of shower water, so please plan accordingly..."

"Only one minute to wash?!" someone immediately exclaimed. "That's way too short!"

The crowd immediately began to echo:

"It's not comfortable to wash at all!"

"Are you giving a chicken a bath?!"

"I'm so disappointed, I'm jumping!"

……

Seeing that the crowd was growing louder and louder, the overweight soldier, clearly used to this kind of situation, was too lazy to bargain and simply raised his voice impatiently:

"Quiet!—Quiet down!!—Shouting won't do any good! There's not that much water in the tank! Keep listening to me!!"

"After you've washed them, come here to get your clean clothes. You'll need them for the medal ceremony tomorrow. Remember not to get them dirty, as they'll be recycled afterwards."

"I will take your dirty clothes back to be washed, and I will replace them with new ones if they are too badly damaged. You can come back to pick up your clothes after the medal awarding ceremony tomorrow."

Although quite dissatisfied with this series of showy arrangements, the thought of having a whole day to wear new clothes after their baths made them all impatient, and they began to clamor again:

"Alright, just shut up!"

"That's right! Let's get started!"

"Start early and finish early, get home on time for dinner!"

Seeing that he could no longer control the restless soldiers and had finished explaining everything, the overweight soldier lowered the ladder from the carriage, put his hands to his mouth like a megaphone, and shouted:

"Don't push!! One at a time!!"

As the soldiers cheered, the pleasant bathing time finally began.

……

After the agitation finally subsided, Payne went to the overweight soldier who was bringing out clean clothes and said, "Can my orc soldiers go in and take a bath too?"

"Hmm?" The overweight soldier glanced back at him, then pulled a basket of clean clothes from a storage box hanging under the carriage. "Oh right, that's right. The orcs' new clothes are with me too."

"Then you see..."

"No. Orcs can't use my bathing tub."

When did this thing become yours...?

Silently complaining to himself, Payne appealed to his emotions and reasoned with him: "My orc soldiers have done meritorious service, and they deserve to be awarded medals this time as well."

"We can't expect them to attend the medal ceremony covered in dirt and stinking, can we? General Steve would think you didn't do your job properly..."

"Oh, that's easy."

The overweight soldier continued carrying the second basket of clean clothes, saying, "There's a tap under the water tank; you can let them wash their clothes there with the remaining water."

"Your B Company, including the orcs, shouldn't have more than 150 men, right? If you're careful with your resources, that should be enough for your orcs."

Payne listened to the roar of the shower truck's engine for a moment, then asked, "The bath tub should be filled with hot water, right?"

"Of course it's hot water, otherwise why would we need to drive this kind of vehicle here? We could just find any truck and bring two tanks of water."

"Is the water heated by the engine and then sent to the bathtub?"

Yes. What are you trying to say?

"What I meant was, if we connect a pipe to the water tank, the water still comes out cold. Could you perhaps..."

“No. The water supply pipes are welded to the vehicle structure; I can’t draw hot water out.”

Seeing that persuasion was ineffective, Payne had no choice but to resort to his ability to pay:

He first helped the overweight soldier bring out all his clean clothes, then offered him a cigarette, and stuffed a chocolate bar into his pocket. "Well... could you possibly make an exception for me?"

This guy was clearly a habitual bribe-taker; without hesitation, he had Payne light the fire for him. Although his attitude remained unchanged, he patiently explained:

"Sigh, you don't know, in the very beginning, some orcs did bathe in bathing tubs, but in some ways they were still too close to wild animals. Staying in such a small space, they would easily become stressed by the slightest noise outside, and in the end, it was impossible to clean up the mess..."

Payne immediately said, "Don't worry, my orcs have all undergone desensitization training, they will definitely not be stressed."

"It better be this way."

The other party neither agreed nor disagreed, and continued, "Some orcs are also clean, but their 'cleanliness' is a completely different concept from that of humans."

"Every time they finished showering, the shower tub was a complete mess, and several times the drain was even clogged. Cleaning it up was such a hassle..."

Payne wanted to explain, but he quickly recalled the time when Xiao En went into the river, and a swarm of black lice appeared around her...

It's all because beast girls have so much fur; they can hide lice better than humans.

Oh right, and hair too.

If there were really that many lice, plus some shed hair, they might actually clog the tiny drain pipe of the shower cart...

It seems best to pick the lice off them again before washing them.

With that in mind, he reluctantly agreed: "Don't worry! I've been supervising the hygiene of my orcs! They definitely won't clog the sewers!"

"It better be this way."

The other party remained noncommittal, adding, "Furthermore, after the orcs used the bathing tubs, subsequent users always complained to me about the foul odor inside. Even after washing with disinfectant several times, I could still smell that odor..."

Payne remained silent.

Is it your nose or mine that's the problem? How come I've never smelled the so-called "stinky odor of orcs"?

Chapter 92 XCII. Alpha's Surrender and Being Touched

After offering another bottle of fine wine, the chubby soldier stopped complaining about the trouble the beast girl had caused him with the bath tub, but he also didn't agree to Payne's request for the beast girl to take a hot bath.