svetikya Chapter 59 Outsiders Who Cannot Stay
Chapter 59 Outsiders Who Cannot Stay
A way out? That's nothing more than a paper wall made of nostalgia by urban outcasts. Once it's punctured, their self-justifying dignity can't even hold up.
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When Zeng Jia opened her eyes again, it was still bright outside. She groggily reached for her phone and glanced at it. Good heavens, it was already 6:30 the next morning.
I slept like I had no memory of what happened.
As soon as I unlocked my phone, chaos erupted. Missed calls piled up all over the screen, and WeChat messages flooded in like a tidal wave, causing the phone to lag for ages.
Her mother was pressuring her to book her tickets and when she was coming back to the Northeast, saying she and her father wanted to pick her up at the station. Several former colleagues were even more eager than paparazzi, venting their frustrations and cursing Zhang Zhishan and Yu Li, writing long, rambling essays. There were also those who loved watching the drama unfold, subtly digging up dirt on Zhang Zhishan from her. And then there were the gossipy ones, spreading rumors that Zhang Zhishan and Yu Li had taken the money from Wang Chao.
Another WeChat message was from the landlord; her grandson needed to start school, and she wanted Zeng Jia to find a place to move quickly. The reason this area is so valuable is because it's in a good school district. Otherwise, would that guy next door be putting himself and his child in this cramped pigeonhole, studying like crazy every day? He would have moved to a bigger house long ago and is enjoying a comfortable life.
Zeng Jia put down her phone, looked around the small house, and felt a pang of sadness, a bittersweet feeling. After living here for so long, was she really just going to pack her bags and leave?
But then she thought, her job was gone, her boyfriend was gone, so what was she doing clinging to this expensive place? Was she just going to look at this dilapidated wall every day and be reminded of the past? That would be just making trouble for herself, a waste of her time.
I was already planning to go back to my hometown and stay there, but now I'm even more decisive. No more dawdling, I'll just go.
Zeng Jia immediately called the landlord back and readily agreed on a handover date. After hanging up, she grabbed her phone and headed straight to the market to buy over a dozen large suitcases, then began packing her bags with great enthusiasm.
Packing her bags was also a way of packing her memories, and her memories were filled with Wang Haowen's shadow; there was no one else in them.
Zeng Jia chuckled self-deprecatingly. Five years had passed, and she hadn't even had anyone to distract her. How pathetic! In truth, their values and ideas clashed from the very beginning. Those conflicts were like firecrackers buried in the ground, bound to explode sooner or later. So, breaking up was better than divorce. Not reaching the point of a complete breakdown, like Zhang Zhishan and Yu Li, was a stroke of luck amidst misfortune.
She was too lazy to dwell on those memories anymore, so she simply threw all the odds and ends she had accumulated over the years, whether useful or not, into a big box, packed it up, and mailed it directly back to her hometown in Northeast China, so as not to trigger her emotions.
There were also two large boxes containing miscellaneous items that Wang Haowen hadn't taken with him: socks, old T-shirts, and his broken billiard cue... Zeng Jia waited until the morning of the day she left Beijing before finding a local courier, filling in Wang Yuelai's address, and sending it directly to him.
Wang Haowen has been living a life of utter dissipation and decadence these past few days. He sleeps until he naturally wakes up during the day, then shuffles off to Wang Yuelai's billiards hall to lend a hand, sweep the pool table, wipe the floor, and then play a few bad games and exchange insults with the neighborhood folks. In the evenings, he'll have some barbecue with the neighbors, chug a couple of bottles of Yanjing beer, and then go home and collapse into bed. Then he'll sleep until the sun is high in the sky, repeating the cycle endlessly.
Normally, this kind of life, where you don't have to worry about anything or think about anything, would be like living the high life. But Wang Haowen was strange; he wasn't happy at all.
He always felt like he had a live toad stuck in his chest, a constant, unsettling ache, a feeling of unease that just wouldn't go away. Before, he was always busy, spinning like a top, dreaming of a peaceful life. Now that he was actually free, he felt restless and uncomfortable, a tightness in every bone. Was he just born with a stubborn streak? Was he just destined to be unfit for this?!
"What is this thing?"
Wang Haowen rubbed his messy, disheveled hair and looked like he hadn't woken up yet as he got out of bed and saw two large boxes standing in the middle of the room.
Wang Yuelai sat down at the front door with a cigarette in his mouth, not even bothering to lift his eyelids: "How would I know? It was delivered this morning, with both of our names on it, but I never shop online."
Wang Haowen's heart sank. He frantically grabbed the scissors from the table and slit the package open with a few quick snips. The moment the contents were revealed, his face turned deathly pale.
Aren't these Zeng Jia's belongings? He was planning to wait until she calmed down, find an excuse to go and get the things, and see her, but it turns out the things were all mailed to him?!
An ominous premonition gripped his heart and lungs. Without thinking twice, Wang Haowen grabbed a coat and rushed out. He didn't even bother to call a rickshaw. He hopped on the old bicycle in the yard and pedaled like Nezha riding his Wind Fire Wheels, speeding all the way to Xinsi Hutong.
When he finally arrived at the courtyard gate, panting heavily, he ran into the landlord, who was standing with his hands on his hips, yelling and directing two porters to move things inside!
Wang Haowen's last shred of hope shattered with a crash, sinking straight to the bottom of the Mariana Trench. He immediately flew into a rage, raising his hand to slap himself twice across the face: "Sleep, sleep, sleep! What the hell do you think you can sleep your way into a golden flower? I was always trying to get him to calm down before he came back, and now I'm completely out of it! Damn it!"
He pedaled home like a wilted eggplant, dejected, and even the dogs that passed by kept their distance from him.
When Wang Yuelai saw his son's cowardly and pathetic appearance, he was furious. "What? Did Xiaojia drag you back again? Why are you so spineless! You can't handle anything!"
Wang Yuelai threw the cigarette butt on the ground and stomped on it a few times. "Can't you use any tricks? Can't you even coax someone? Why don't you call Xiaojia, and I'll pretend to be sick again, saying I'm bedridden, and ask her to come back and check on me?"
"Tsk, why don't you at least fart something loud? I've been cursing myself for this little thing of yours, and you're just standing there doing nothing!"
Wang Haowen seemed completely out of his mind, not even reacting to Wang Yuelai's scolding. He collapsed onto the hard bed, burying his face in the pillow. "What are you pretending for? It's too late! He...he's already gone back to his hometown in Northeast China, and he's never coming back!"
Zeng Jiamao's time back in her hometown in Northeast China was incredibly comfortable.
In early April, the Northeast still has a slightly chilly breeze, but the air is sweet and refreshingly cool, making it incredibly comfortable. The sky is so blue it's almost blinding, the clouds are plump like freshly fluffed cotton, and even the birdsong has a lazy, carefree quality to it. Life is as leisurely as a dream.
My elementary school classmates and I would get together every now and then. Work wasn't as hectic as in Beijing, so we'd chat about this and that, play four rounds of mahjong, and spend all the winnings on late-night snacks—just for fun. And the food at home was even better. My parents ran a small restaurant, and their cooking skills were top-notch. Their stews simmered in an iron pot, their cornbread was golden and crispy, and their braised pork was glistening and fragrant… They fed her a variety of dishes every day.
In just half a month, Zeng Jia's cheeks became noticeably rounder. Holding her bowl, she wondered to herself, "Why don't I just find a job back in my hometown? Why go back to Beijing, where it's so crowded and you're afraid of making even the slightest noise to disturb your neighbors?"
She initially went to Beijing desperately for some vague ideal, but later she was single-mindedly focused on marrying Wang Haowen. Now that the tree has fallen and the person has flown away, no matter how much motivational talk she receives, her inner drive has deflated like a punctured balloon.
As soon as Zeng Jia had the idea, she immediately opened her phone and checked the housing prices in her hometown. The total price of a super large apartment in a good neighborhood was less than that of a dilapidated apartment in a remote corner of Beijing. With the little money she had, she could only make a down payment on a tiny apartment in Beijing and still have to work hard to pay off the loan. But in her hometown, she could buy a 100-square-meter apartment outright.
That evening, the two large families of Zeng Jia's aunts and uncles flocked into the small restaurant, crowding around a large table as if it were Chinese New Year. Zeng Jia seized the opportunity to enthusiastically share her plans for "returning home in glory and buying property for retirement" with her family.
She was fully expecting to receive a ton of warm greetings like "Welcome home" and "You should have come back a long time ago," and her lips were already twitching with a smile. But instead, the dinner table fell silent, and she was met with an awkward silence!
"I'm back... is there something wrong with that?" Zeng Jia felt like she'd been doused with cold water. It turned out that her own smug plans weren't very popular.
My uncle-in-law works in the government and is considered the "wise man" in the family; he speaks frankly and directly. He basically doesn't mince words: "Jiazi, it's not that it's a bad thing for you to come back." He sipped his drink and continued, "The key is, what kind of work can you do when you come back? Do you have any ideas?"
Zeng Jia quickly racked her brains: "I studied human resources management, and my previous company was in e-commerce, so I've built up some connections. I could try..."
Before she could finish speaking, her uncle interrupted, "Jiazi, if you had come back a couple of years earlier, I wouldn't have stopped you. But right now, the economy is as bad as a broken bellows, and so many people want to retreat. There are plenty of examples around us, but very few of them have fared well!"
"To be honest, for high-end jobs, your education isn't enough. These days, decent state-owned enterprises are practically begging for PhDs or post-doctoral fellows, or at the very least, a master's degree from a 985/211 university. The bar is so high it's practically impossible to pass. As for low-end jobs, can you compete with those young people who just graduated from vocational high schools? They have real skills and plenty of experience. What about you? Can you swing a ladle or fix a tractor? What skills do you have to offer?"
"Even if we take a step back and consider the civil service exam, with your brains, you could pass it with your eyes closed, I guarantee it. But that meager salary, how much can you afford for a few decent clothes? A few Starbucks drinks? Your quality of life would plummet, could you really accept that?"
"Or you could set up a stall and do business, but that would be even tougher. Your parents are a prime example; they work from dawn till dusk every day... If you ask me, you'd be better off going out and trying your luck again!"
Her uncle's barrage of realistic analysis, like a hailstorm, instantly extinguished the tiny flame of hope that had just begun to flicker in Zeng Jia's heart. She had been so focused on the question of "whether or not to go home" that she hadn't carefully analyzed the specific situation. Now, seeing it this way, she realized she had indeed been making assumptions and was so smug that she was practically bubbling with joy.
Seeing Zeng Jia hanging her head and remaining silent, her aunt immediately became displeased. She smacked her uncle with her elbow, her eyes nearly going blind from all the spiking: "What are you babbling about? You're just spouting discouraging things. With you talking like that, life will be unbearable!" She turned to Zeng Jia and looked at her earnestly. "If you ask me, you should hurry up and go on blind dates, find someone with decent qualities and marry him. Jiajia isn't getting any younger. If you don't hurry, all the good young men will be snatched up. Look at your cousin, she's two years younger than you, and she already has her second child!"
"Yes! Jiajia, tell me what you want, and your aunt will help you find one!" The aunt was also very kind and immediately followed up.
"Sis, do you mind if I'm younger? I have two good classmates who graduated from sports school and are both male." My cousin chimed in.
Zeng Jia mumbled some perfunctory replies, but her mind was elsewhere. This "reunion dinner," which should have been lively and comforting, felt colder than ice water in the dead of winter to her, leaving her feeling utterly dejected.
Finally, the party ended, and Zeng Jia got home and lay in bed. She tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. Before, when she suffered injustices or difficulties in Beijing, she always thought, "At worst, I'll just quit and go home," believing her hometown was a safe and secure escape route. But she never imagined that while leaving was easy, coming back? Not a chance!
If you think about it carefully, why should her hometown be her fallback? There aren't that many places in this world that are taken for granted. Everyone has their own place to live, and nobody has the extra energy to accommodate an "outsider."
Zeng Jia spent the entire night in a daze, half-asleep and half-awake. When she opened her eyes again, the sun was already so hot it was burning her bottom. She had lost her energy from the previous period and lay listlessly in bed, idly scrolling through her phone screen like a fish out of water.
Suddenly, several trending search terms related to "divine will" popped up:
#Tianyi Small Commodities' business lines are upgraded again, the entire supply chain is connected, and the layout is accelerated, poised to change the industry landscape!#
#International investment bank FOX invests a massive 100 billion yuan in Tianyi's luxury goods sector! A behemoth enters the luxury goods market!#
#Yu Li used her strength to seize opportunities and turned the tide, it was amazing! Yu Li won!#
……
Zeng Jia's fingers paused, and her drowsiness vanished instantly.
Is Zhang Zhishan about to lose?
Today is April 8th, and there are only twelve days left until the end of his bet with Yu Li. But given Yu Li's aggressive stance, let alone twelve days, even one hundred and twenty days, it's unlikely that this old fox Zhang Zhishan will be able to turn the tables!