People in Zongman, sign in to maintain life

Page 66

For the extremely gentle Reiko, this was indeed unbearable.

"It's okay, Natsume-san, I'm not angry."

Megumi Kato shook her head, telling Reiko not to worry too much.

Anyway, she's used to it, and besides, she's already got better things, and she's already content with getting some people's attention.

And it's still in front of Natsume Reiko, I still feel a little excited in my heart!

"Cough, cough, Reiko, don't you want to help senior sister read light novels, then let's start now, we will wait for you too, can you watch senior sister's masterpiece?"

Seeing that the atmosphere at this time had become somewhat delicate, Lin Yan spoke in a timely manner and brought the topic back to the main topic.

The purpose of Xiazhiqiu Shiyu's coming here is not just this, but because Kato Megumin's powerful aura blocked it and caused him to go astray.

"Of course there is no problem with 510, or, please taste it, I can accept any opinion!"

Xiazhiqiu Shiyu also remembered his purpose, reached out from the bag, and took out a stack of scattered papers, all of which were square and square handwriting.

It's not handwritten, it looks like it was typed.

The three of them took the paper subconsciously, and looked at the writing on it curiously. At the beginning, there were a few large characters - Love Metronome.

The name of the light novel is exactly the same as in the original book.

This is her first work, and the protagonist Sayuka is constructed based on herself.

However, Lin Yan was not particularly interested in light novels. Holding the manuscript paper in his hand, he simply glanced at it, and instantly read all the information into his mind.

How should I put it, pure love novels are full of sweet and greasy love.

It's just that it's a little too plain, without any ups and downs. At the beginning, the hero and the heroine have confirmed their relationship, and then there is the sweetness of youth.

It's okay to look at a part, but when you look at the back, it's a little sweet and boring.

After reading all the chapters in no time, Lin Yan slowly raised his head, and what he saw was Xia Zhiqiu Shi Yu's expectant gaze.

"How about it, junior, do you have any suggestions?"

"Don't worry, senior, let's discuss it together after Reiko and Kato finish reading it. However, senior, you'd better be mentally prepared."

Hearing Lin Yan's words, Xiazhiqiu Shiyu suddenly became a little uneasy.

Erlang's legs in stockings, which were originally raised, couldn't help but let go, and began to shake. From this, it could be seen that she was not at peace.

Reiko and Kato were still reading carefully.

This scene became more and more strange. The name of their club seemed to be the music club. How could it give people a sense of the literature club and the light novel club?

Swish!

The sound of turning pages came, and the two women also put away the paper in their hands.

It seemed that they had already finished watching. They looked at each other, and they probably saw the meaning in each other's eyes.

It was Lin Yan who spoke first, "Since we've finished reading, let's boldly express some opinions! Kato, you come first."

Hearing this, Kato Megumi froze for a moment, and thought about his wording for a while.

"Ah, I usually read very few light novels, so if there is something wrong, please bear with me, senior sister, then I will start."

It was the first time that such a long sentence came out of Kato Megumi's mouth.

Kato Megumi (babb) looked at Kato Megumi's (babb) eyes and she seemed to be more confident.

"I've finished reading my sister's light novel, um... the writing is very good, the characterization and description of the characters are very delicate, especially the description of the heroine, it is indeed very good, but..."

Having said that, Kato Megumi took a look at Kasumigaoka Shiwa's expression.

Seeing that the other party didn't have too much of an aggressive reaction, he continued, "The only thing is that the plot is a bit flat, and the beginning is quite exciting, but as it gets to the end, it makes people feel like they don't want to read on. idea."

After finishing speaking, Kato Megumi stopped talking.

Next is Reiko's comments, but generally speaking, it is similar to Kato Megumi's thoughts, that is, it is more profound and more delicate in terms of words.

However, as the topic deepened, Xiazhiqiu Shiyu's face became more and more ugly.

This is also understandable. Individuals will feel uncomfortable when their works that have been painstakingly worked out are evaluated in this way.

However, Lin Yan chose the final ending.

Although he doesn't know much about light novels and has never written them, but with the blessing of inherent skills, he can easily find out the shortcomings of this work.

"Senior sister, my thoughts are similar to those of Reiko and the others. The plot is too bland, and I don't want people to continue watching."

"You should be a combination of the first volume and the second volume. However, I guess it is about to be cut in half, so I ask Reiko to give you some advice."

Xiazhiqiu Shiyu opened his mouth, but didn't say anything.

Such a reaction made everyone understand that Lin Yan's guess was indeed true.

"Let me just say it straight. For an excellent work, or an excellent online work, the most important thing is to deal with the main line, embellish various branch lines, and set up appropriate pits. This is what makes readers think. Reasons to keep reading."

"Love metronome, the whole story is about youthful love, the relationship is determined at the beginning, and then there is the endless candy distribution, it is a bit too boring, and it will make readers lose the novelty."

The long list of words made Lin Yan decide to have a dry mouth.

After taking a sip of mineral water, she paused the topic, giving Kasumigaoka Shiyu some room to think.

Sure enough, after thinking about it briefly, she asked, "Then, junior, what should I do to make readers want to read on? Can you teach me, please."

"I can only give you suggestions. After all, I haven't written light novels. I can only give you some suggestions from the reader's point of view. Whether you want to adopt them or not depends on your own consideration."

.......

128. The exchange meeting of light novels in the music department, the inner change of the senior sister! (Please subscribe, please subscribe)

"Dig a hole?" Xiazhiqiu Shiyu showed a puzzled look.

For Lin Yan's words, she didn't particularly understand how to write pure love flow light novels in order to attract readers' attention.

(I don’t know either, just make nonsense, look at Figure Yile)

"Yes, it's laying mines!"

Lin Yan nodded, and raised the manuscript paper in his hand, "A plot that is too plain can't attract readers' interest in reading. Your writing style is enough, and you need to embellish it with branches."

"For example, you can add the hero's childhood sweetheart, what happened in the emotional entanglement of the three people, or the big sister next door, etc. Relationships are not always smooth sailing, there will always be ups and downs, so you need to take these uncertain factors into account. Include it to increase the richness of the article, and you need to grasp the specific details by yourself.-”

"Or, because of some misunderstanding, the relationship between the hero and the heroine has a crack, which is the key to get started. Only by facing some things together will it be profound."

Having said that, Lin Yan stopped his description.

Looking at Kasumigaoka Shiyu's glowing eyes and beating fingers, it seems that she should have understood it, or had an inspiration.

The rest depends on the author's own understanding.

After a while, she came back to her senses and stared at Lin Yan with burning eyes, "Thank you, junior, I already have a rough idea, thank you very much for your suggestion, I am very glad to have listened to Lingzi's words, and I am here today here."

Xiazhiqiu Shiyu felt a little complicated, and didn't know how to face the man in front of him.

This is the third time that she has been helped by the other party. First, she secretly helped her complete the contract, the light novel was successfully published, and she became a writer.

Later, in the ghoul restaurant, she saved her life.

And today, I made another very important suggestion. No matter which one it is, it is enough to change my life. I really don't know how to thank you.

I clearly said that I wanted to find an opportunity to express my gratitude, but I didn't take action.

It really is……

Thinking of this, Xiazhiqiu Shiyu's complexion was soft, and his eyes were very gentle.

Lin Yan waved his hand, not too happy, "You don't need to be so polite, senior sister, but I want to thank you for being willing to make friends with Lingzi. By the way, I suggest you go back and revise the manuscript. If conditions permit, you can write The first volume will be revised and republished, so I believe that the fate of being cut in half will soon be changed."

"With your kind words, junior, can you exchange lines with me? When my novel is on the right track, I would like to invite you to dinner to express my gratitude."

Lin Yan subconsciously glanced at Reiko, but she didn't have any objections.

So, he nodded, and exchanged contact information with Kasumigaoka Shiyu, looking at the number in his contacts, the senior sister showed a happy smile where no one noticed.

The smile disappeared in a flash, and even Lin Yan didn't notice her change.

"Since everything has been solved, let's continue to study. While it's still early, I'll teach you a little more. It won't be annoying."

"I don't know if I am bored, but, Yan, I probably won't be able to learn anymore. The time is almost up, and I have to go to work at the Undead River Library, so I can only save it until tomorrow. You can teach Kato first." .”

Reiko showed an apologetic expression, but she still picked up her schoolbag.

For this, Lin Yan was really helpless.

At the beginning, she was only afraid that Reiko would think too much, so she was allowed to work at the Undead Chuan Library. Who knew, she was really addicted, and she would go to work for a while almost every afternoon.

I can't even stop it, what else can I say, I have to be responsible to myself and others.

Gan!

Only now did Lin Yan realize what it means to shoot himself in the foot with a stone, what to do if his wife loves work too much? (funny)

Just kidding, but these are what Reiko likes to do.

If that's the case, then let her go, and it's impossible to stay together anytime, anywhere. It's really a good thing to have some hobbies.

Thinking of this, Lin Yan stood up directly.

Not paying attention to the gazes around him, he reached out and pulled Reiko into his arms, kissed the corner of her mouth lightly, and then showed a gentle smile.

Regarding his actions, Reiko's eyes dodged a little.

"Iwa, Shiwa and Kato are all watching, so why not pay attention!"

· 0 flowers · ·

The shy Reiko is also extraordinarily cute!

Smiled again, "It's okay, is there a problem if I hug my own girlfriend? Well, go, go early, go back early, I will wait for you to come back for dinner at home."

Reiko nodded, hugged Lin Yan, turned and left.

Looking at the back of her leaving, Lin Yan raised his right hand and gave instructions to his wrist, "Jarvis, send a message to Machida Wanko, and ask her not to arrange too heavy work for Reiko."

The bracelet flashed a light, and then returned to its original shape.

His words seemed extraordinarily loud in this silent space, anyway Kato Megumi and Kasumigaoka Shiwa could hear them clearly.

...... 0

For some reason, Xiazhiqiu Shiyu seemed a little irritable.

With a light tut, he said playfully, "Ah, I didn't expect my junior to be a paramecium creature! You're still a high school student, but you already want to become an adult. I'm so pitiful for Reiko. She's so weak, she has to bear it." Pain that shouldn't be felt at this age!"

Lin Yan: ...

What are the words of tigers and wolves, should I say that I am an old driver!

However, Lin Yan is not a submissive character, isn't he just talking about it, who is afraid of whom, a little girl's film has turned the sky upside down.

"It doesn't matter. If senior sister is really worried, she can also move to my house and help Reiko share some of the burden. Do what she can. I believe she won't mind!"

While speaking, Lin Yan showed playful eyes, scanning with meaningful eyes, intentionally or unintentionally.

Xia Zhiqiu Shiyu was stunned, his eyes were a little erratic, and he didn't know how to answer.

It's okay to tease ordinary people, but if the opponent is Lin Yan, she is not enough.

"Lin Yanjun, I have already called the police!"

Suddenly, Kato Megumi, who was silently invisible at the side, held up his mobile phone and made a sound.

The phone has been adjusted to the dialing bar, and the three numbers '110' clearly appear on the screen, while the other party's index finger is hovering over the dialing key.

Judging by Kato Megumi's face, it doesn't look like he's joking.

……Second.

129. The Double Attack of Kasumi Poison Tongue and Megumin Sage!Sing again, the attention of the red-haired Mie Sha Ji! (Please subscribe, please subscribe)

If you want to be so exaggerated, isn't it just a joke.

She even made a fuss to the point of calling the police, can't you afford it, and she's still teaching you about musical instruments, but you want to betray him backhandedly, this is a woman!